Life as it is

After getting married for a month and seven days, it's me again. I'm now used to have someone in my life, the most important person above everyone else, and that is my husband.

I'm so happy that we're united and finally be married to each other. Can't really describe how it feels like (being married to someone you love), but this holy relationship that we have now is totally a good thing for me. Of course, my life changes 360 degrees and it will never be the same like my single life. Even though there are lots of work to do (household chores and all that), I still feel happy and glad. Contented. Really. My life now has more purposes and its full of responsibility.

Now I know why people love and get excited when talking about marriage. It's the moment you tie the knot and bam! You are someone's, forever. The feeling you get when someone is and will always be there for you. And the most important thing is you'll never be alone, you will always have the perfect company day and night. There will always be someone who's thinking about you because you are also the most important person to them. The feeling of love and being loved. I am just really happy with my life right now, even though I have to live apart from him because I'm still studying. Well, that's how it is. Obstacles are what makes us better.

Right now is the happiest moment of my life. I don't feel lonely or sad anymore, whenever I'm reminded of my late mama and abah. This is how God wants me to continue living my life. I'm stronger, happier, and more responsible. This is what marriage do to me, I am now a more matured person and I live to make my other half happy.

♥ THIS?

Unconditional love

They teach me how to be kind. 

Humble.

Grateful.

Patient.

Faithful.

Positive.

Strong.

No, I'm not going to write it in Past Tense just because they are not here anymore. This is a fact that I'm proud of.

I'm proud to tell that my parents are the greatest teachers of all time. 

They don't need degrees or PhDs to teach me about life.

They have taught me everything. They know I'm ready to face the reality without me realising it.

I love them with all my heart. 

There's nothing more important than our relationship and love. Their love is infinity and immortal, and alive in me.

♥ THIS?

Feeling lost.

After some time, get as busy as a bee all you want and then there's the moment when you feel lost in this world; for there's nothing much left for you to be enthusiastic about.

Life goes on, but do I really know how to keep walking through this journey?

People might say; "I'm sorry, I get it but it happens. This is reality."

Whatever, you won't get the feeling until it happens to you.

It's just that it is difficult for me to accept the truth. Yeah sometimes I'm okay with it. I try to live normally and happily just the way I always do. Nevertheless, when that empty feeling strikes this tiny fragile heart, I can't bear the loneliness and pain of missing the most precious person that has gone forever. I keep praying to God to give me strength and keep me calm everyday.

No matter how hard I try to be strong, there's always that hole in this heart..

Empty.

♥ THIS?

Hero

I have a favourite hero, and I call him ‘Father’.

♥ THIS?

It's already a year..

April 6, 2010 - April 6, 2011

KAKAK

BIDIN

KACIK

EJAH (me)

ADIK

The sadness and sorrow of our little family. 

We lost our precious abah and only mama had chances to be with him at his last seconds of life. Mama accompanied abah until his very last breath. Abah said that he felt really amazed, and he admired mama's strength, and loyalty. 

I don't know what else to say. I can't read all those entries about abah if not my tears will flood again.

Luckily all my siblings have our own blog and we wrote about our loss, so we can read them again in the future when we forgot things little by little..

♥ THIS?

Fuel Your Day with Smiles and Laughters

These are my friends. They are crazy enough to make me happy everyday.

One of our earliest event, MSK at UPSI

Our first day of class in 2011

Tesl Nite

Night of Memories

Teluk Batik: The Perfect Getaway

Banana Boat; I was on fever that day. 

My favourite pic.

Thaipusam Day Off 

Playground at 12.30 a.m

Fun and Tiring at the same time

Papa Kamil's Birthday

Eating Nasi Kak Wok at 'sungai belakang maktab'.

Our latest group photo : My Crazy Bitches!

They make my days totally alive!

Love <3

♥ THIS?

FUTURE

It's 2011 and I'm going to be 20 this year! There's a lot more to do for my future plans. First thing first is I need to get my own driving license, for a better living actually. It's kinda hard to live with only one person in your family who can drive the car. Before this my late father would drive us to wherever we wanted and needed to go but since father has already passed away, only my brother-in-law left, who knows to drive cars.

We are not richer nor poorer than other families but sometimes the money we have is just enough for our monthly necessities. There are seven members in my family, my mother, including my married sister with her son, and her husband (my brother-in-law) living at home. Still, my 'bachelor' brother, and my 16-year-old-youngest sister is not always home because they live in rent house and hostel, me too, here in Ipoh.

Before this, when I asked my father about driving license, he always said that it's not suitable for me to drive since he's still there for our family. My father was a little bit insecure of his children driving cars as he could not rely on us. Maybe my father thought that we were still small children for him who he needed to protect. That was one of the reasons I could not even drive car or motorcycle back then. Sadly, my father left us earlier without any one of us expecting that.

At first I thought it was my father's fault because he didn't let any one of us get driving license except for my first eldest sister, but then, I accept that it was because of his STRONG LOVE towards us. He loved us too much that he didn't want us to be exposed to roads and highways, not without him driving for us.

As for me, turning into 20 give me a lot of things to do. One of them is to get my driving license, because that is the only way I think  I can be useful to my family before I got a real job and salaries. 

♥ THIS?

if we ever meet again

since this is the last day I'm loitering around my beloved maktab, I must gonna be missing all my friends very much! we are gonna be separated for a month and weeks before we meet again at UPSI for our orientation week. dayumm don't miss me a lot girls cause I'm gonna miss you back, loadsssss!

you don't leave me behind your back,
you don't move a step ahead of me,
but you stand and walk beside me,
together we face obstacles and enjoy our happiness.

sob sob. I LOVE YOU MY GIRLFRIENDS!

we shall meet again this December. love you miss you!

Faezah, Wanah, Ryna!

Wanah, Faezah, Ryna

Ryna, Wanah, and me

again!

Wanah, Faezah, and Ryna

these three crazy girls that I love so much!

PEACE WASSABBBII!!

♥ THIS?