Life as it is

After getting married for a month and seven days, it's me again. I'm now used to have someone in my life, the most important person above everyone else, and that is my husband.

I'm so happy that we're united and finally be married to each other. Can't really describe how it feels like (being married to someone you love), but this holy relationship that we have now is totally a good thing for me. Of course, my life changes 360 degrees and it will never be the same like my single life. Even though there are lots of work to do (household chores and all that), I still feel happy and glad. Contented. Really. My life now has more purposes and its full of responsibility.

Now I know why people love and get excited when talking about marriage. It's the moment you tie the knot and bam! You are someone's, forever. The feeling you get when someone is and will always be there for you. And the most important thing is you'll never be alone, you will always have the perfect company day and night. There will always be someone who's thinking about you because you are also the most important person to them. The feeling of love and being loved. I am just really happy with my life right now, even though I have to live apart from him because I'm still studying. Well, that's how it is. Obstacles are what makes us better.

Right now is the happiest moment of my life. I don't feel lonely or sad anymore, whenever I'm reminded of my late mama and abah. This is how God wants me to continue living my life. I'm stronger, happier, and more responsible. This is what marriage do to me, I am now a more matured person and I live to make my other half happy.

♥ THIS?

Coward

I've been avoiding myself from thinking about this. I'm not ready to face the end of it.

My fault, my flaws.

Your thought, your claws.

♥ THIS?

You are my inspiration

I know that I've been playing around all these years. Too much that it will cost me my future.

I've never been a serious person when it comes to studying. I've been relying on internet notes and peers' assignments whenever I need to do my assignment. In fact, I keep doing assignment on the day when it should be the submission day. I keep wasting my time on unimportant things. I keep doing ridiculous thing when I'm supposed to do something that would benefit me.

I now realize that I shouldn't have to be this ignorant in studying. I should have paid more attention in classes and lectures. I should read every book that I've bought (lots of them actually). It would only be a stupid loss if I don't act as what I should have been. 

There's no chance to bring back the past. I should have achieved higher. 

I realize that now. That's because I know I am able to do that. I can do that. I'm capable of doing the thing that I myself didn't expect. I think I can, and I know I can.

All thanks to you my dear love.

Thanks for your advice. Thanks for your support. Thanks for giving me such inspiration.

Thanks for loving me.

♥ THIS?

Happy 2nd Anniversary

I am so happy that we're still together until this very moment..

We still got a long journey to go.

I LOVE YOU <3

♥ THIS?

TALK TO YOURSELF#11

A better way to learn a great love, is to keep distance. A better way to show a great love, is to understand each other's commitments. - Mcjust ♥

♥ THIS?

Being rational and futuristic in Love

Today I learnt few new things about love and relationship. 

I once thought that my partner and I were different with other couples. It is because we never buy things for each other, unless it is food. 

All I've ever seen in other people's relationship are based on materials and money. I always think how can they buy expensive things to give to their partners? I always wonder why all these couples need to spend a lot of money to please the person they love? Why don't they just save the expenses for their wedding in the future? It doesn't matter if these couples are already working and get fixed salary monthly, but they're just students like me, who depend so much on allowance money.

Shariza always tells me that, it is not good to ask for something expensive (hundreds) from our partners since we are just dating and it will also portray you as materialistic. Still, it is completely different if we are already married. Instead, a couple should understand the condition and lifestyle they are living. We are still young, and not all of us has enough money to buy unnecessary things. So, why making your partner feel miserable spending an amount of money to buy things you want? Why don't you just help each other in saving money, and plan your economy management in your future. Being a couple doesn't mean you fully belong to each other. The person you love is not wholly committed to you. S/He also has a family, friends, and all other things to do rather than focusing only on you.

I understand that when he explained it to me. For me, I don't mind if I don't get anything from him in material as I come from a family which cannot afford many things. So, I'm used to being careful when shopping. I have nothing in mind to ask him to buy for me, but still, sometimes he surprised me with a present.

Yes, money is everything. You will never survive in this world if you're just longing for love and commitment. I also know that as a love partner, I must help him to save money for our future because wedding ceremony nowadays are not as cheap as before. Dowry, and all other expenses must be counted in too. Our future house, car(s), furnitures, and gadgets, all these need money. If I don't start saving from now, then I'll have more problems in few years time. 

I'm going to be 20 this June 5. 

Short. Four years are not as long as people think. I hope to get married with him after these four years and by that time, I already have my own car and we are going to buy a house with all the money we'd saved from now.

That's what I call love. As a serious couple, we should think few years ahead because money don't just fall from the sky. I need a good financial management and shouldn't shop extravagantly.

Of course it's okay to buy little things like food, top-up, or anything else but I think it is ridiculous to ask  my partner to buy every single unimportant thing I want. That is materialistic. I don't have to ask my partner to buy expensive clothes, shoes, or accessories just to show his love to me. I understand that it will be more meaningful if the things I want come from the person I love, but, don't you realize that this action is just to take advantage of the partner?

I'd rather buy everything by myself than making my partner spending lots of money on me.

It's because I'm independent and I'm not a foolish brat.

Love and relationship is not just about giving gifts, but it's also about making your partner feel at ease.

♥ THIS?

Passionate Love

A 2 minutes phone call with you is just enough for me to be in the cloud nine. I am so happy and loved being with you darling. 

Let's skype tonight. I really wanna see your face, your eyes, your lips, your nose, your 'short' hair, your teeth, and everything I can see through the webcam. I just miss you so much I couldn't tell how it feels. I miss sniffing you and I miss how you hold my hand. I can picture it clearly but I kind of losing the feeling of your touch since time has killed it bit by bit.

Maybe it's just normal and easy for everyone when it comes to love, but for me, this love is really challenging.

Distance and time keep us far apart, but don't worry darling, our souls are tied tight to each other and our hearts remain unbroken till this very day.

I know I may sound silly and ridiculous, but listening to your voice makes me feel sleepy and it is like I can sleep for another day just because of too much passionate love from you.

I keep deaming us wearing our wedding outfits, me with the dress and you with your suit.

Loving you makes me crazy because all I think about everyday is you. And nothing but you. 

♥ THIS?

EVERYDAY

I don't mind spending everyday loving you dear love, because that's what I'll be doing for my entire life. ;) - mcjust ♥

♥ THIS?

S

Relationship is not about perfection. It is about moments, feelings, and stories being shared. #ihatequotes

♥ THIS?

Rules

♥ THIS?

Dear Love

John and Savannah

This story is really about us.

Long-distance relationship.

A soldier and a teacher (I think so).

But the meaning of 'Dear John' letter is THIS.

That's what Savannah has tried to tell John for what she has to do.

I will never do this thing to you.

There's no such thing as this letter for us.

♥ THIS?

My Man

I don't know. He's a grown up man. Still, everybody says that he looks like a teenage boy. He turns 23 this year, and he's already working for almost 4 years.

I snapped them when we were skyping. 

My all-time favourite picture of us. <3

 I love it when he says, "I'm not 23, I'm 19. Haha! I awet muda."

Always teasing me with that line. -__-

Footnote: Everything about the person you love is cute and lovely. <3

♥ THIS?

Missing You

I miss him a lot. That's why I read my previous entries from the main blog again and again. I love him so much I couldn't tell the world how does it feel.

I think this is the most 'jiwang' entry I have ever dedicated to him.

♥ S.H.A.R.I.Z.A ♥

♥ THIS?

This guy..

♥ THIS?

The journey continues...

When I was crying
When I was broken down
When I was lost

At that moment
You turned your head again
To make sure if I was okay or not
You look at my face
You saw my tears
You held my hand again
You gave me the same hugs and caresses
And you promised not to leave me again

♥ THIS?

Truth

Sometimes, you can mean NOTHING to the man who means EVERYTHING to you. Sad truth. #girlsdeals

♥ THIS?

Jealousy

Jealousy in a man is a gift. In a girl, it is a disaster. #DRT

♥ THIS?

Heart Aches

You know that feeling when you lose someone...your heart aches and all you wanna do is CRY and SCREAM and let it all out, but your throat slowly tightens and you stop breathing and you just can't do it, and you're left with nothing but silence all around you when you're trying to get it all together......it's suffocating!

I hate losing someone I love

♥ THIS?

Forever

"Every minute every hour. Every month every year. Forever's forever. Always and ever. I will always love you."

♥ THIS?

Journey

I was lost in this heart.

It was dark, and cold.

I couldn't find my way out.

Then, somebody knocked.

It was you.

There's no door to anybody else but you.

Then I realized,

You were the only one who can enter.

You wiped my tears.

You gave me hugs and caresses to keep me warm.

You held my hand for a long time,

you guided me when I took the wrong lane.

We were looking towards the future.

Where will this dark and lonely heart bring us to?

You said to me it was all right.

We will always be together until we find our way out to meet sunshine.

You grabbed me when I tripped myself along the way.

You saved me when I was about to fall.

I was really glad that I found you.

Something came up, and you were confused.

You didn't know whether it was right to hold my hand anymore.

I looked at your face.

You lost your smile and you were keeping it to yourself.

Your silence was killing me.

But in the end,

you chose to leave, and go on your own.

and me,

I am still lost in this dark heart.

Cold.

♥ THIS?